There is no singular storyline that fits what it’s like when your child comes out.

Every kid is different. Every family is different.

Sometimes trans kids come out when they’re little—and sometimes they don’t.

Sometimes parents are on board from the get-go—and sometimes they aren’t.

Whether parents are on board or not, it’s crucial to get support.

No one prepares for the day their kid comes out as transgender. By calling in for backup, it makes rising to the meet the moment just a little bit easier.

And when we can get help, we’re much more likely to thrive—and so are our kids.

During our campfire talk today, we’ll hear from brave mom, Laura. Laura realized that asking for help, being vulnerable, and showing up in community with other parents was more important than being judged. Through PFLAG and a therapeutic group for parents of trans kids, Laura saw how other parents modeled compassion for their kids and for themselves.

Laura will also share about how her son, Lucas, came out and how she cultivated the courage to make her way down the path of affirming and supporting him through love and how she found connection with other parents going through something similar.

So, I have a Question:

Laura’s story might have brought up some questions for you so in the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD. will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work.

Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician.

Check out the full episode to hear about:

• The first signs Laura noticed that her son was transgender
• How PFLAG offered a place for Laura to connect with other parents of transgender kids
• Why it takes time for some parents to get on board—and why that’s OK
• How to find the right support and why affirming your child is hard—but so worth it
• Ways to love your child for who they are

Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD:

• Dr. Linda Hawins at Widener

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

• wildheartsociety.org
• Wild Heart Society on Facebook
• Wild Heart Society on Instagram

Additional resources:

• Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities
• PFLAG

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Most kids don’t necessarily walk up to you and say, “Mom/Dad, I’m trans,” when they come out.

Most of the time, however, they show early signs that they are exploring their gender and that they don’t feel right in their body.

Some parents welcome the exploration.

Others actively try to shut it down.

Some parents shut it down without even knowing it—and when they do, they often unintentionally shut down a child’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with them about gender and other difficult subjects—often for years to come.

So, how do you avoid closing the door on the coming-out conversation before it even happens? How do you encourage your child to be their most authentic self? And how do you find the courage to rumble with the discomfort of knowing they will face a world that will continuously tell them they aren’t good enough and judges them—and you—every step of the way?

In the first part of this episode, we’re going to hear from Tina Mulqueen. Tina’s daughter was assigned male at birth, but she knew rather quickly that her kiddo was not a boy. We talk about what this experience has been like for her and what she has done to support her kiddo as much as she possibly can.

Tina is the founder of Kindred PR and Executive Director of Cause Influence, a non-profit dedicated to amplifying marginalized voices. She’s also a sought after speaker in sustainable entrepreneurship with a focus on such issues as minority representation in media and technology.

So, I have a Question:

This interview with Tina will probably bring up a lot of questions for you.

In the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD., will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work.

Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician.

Check out the full episode to hear about:

• The early signs of gender expansiveness Tina saw in her child
• The playbook Tina and her family created to support her daughter
• How Tina’s family has navigated life so far, what keeps her up at night, and what inspires her about her daughter
• Dr. Linda breaks down the difference between sex and gender
• How parents can show their child that they love them in regard to gender identity

Find out more about Tina Mulqueen:

• Kindred PR

Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins PHD.:

• Dr. Linda Hawkins at Widener

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

• wildheartsociety.org
• Wild Heart Society on Facebook
• Wild Heart Society on Instagram

Additional resources:

• Scientific American – January 2016
• Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities

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Welcome to Camp Wild Heart!

All of us at Camp Wild Heart are so excited you’re here. Showing up here means you’re looking for a way to show your love to your trans child in a way they understand and receive it. I don’t think there is anything closer to real magic than love. We know from the research that it is the most important protective factor kids have against trauma and stress. How cool is that?!

Consider this first episode your New Camper Orientation.

Just like any camp, we’ve got some rules. Rules help us learn what’s in bounds and what’s out of bounds, what behavior is encouraged and what is off-limits.

The rules help to keep people from getting hurt. While we can’t prevent every bump or scrape, our goal is to keep anyone from drowning.

As you listen, I have some things I want you to keep in mind. These are our Camp Rules if you will:

Camp Wild Heart Rules:

1. Keep your judgments to yourself
2. Conversion Therapy is Abuse
3. Shame is not a tool for change
4. Your child should not be your source of support through this
5. “The goal is not perfection, the goal is growth” – Britt Hawthorne
6. Look for the common humanity
7. Send us your questions – camp@wildheartsociety.org

Each week at Camp Wild Heart, you’ll hear from parents who are bravely sharing their stories. Many times the parents I talk to will be sharing times they sat in the dark, made mistakes, or just felt confused & alone. But often these stories will have moments of joy and celebration and community, too.

Thanks for showing up today and welcome again to Camp Wild Heart.

Links:

• Brené Brown: TED Talk – The Power of Vulnerability
• Brené Brown Website
• Britt Hawthorne Website

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

• wildheartsociety.org
• Wild Heart Society on Facebook
• Wild Heart Society on Instagram

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No one plans for having a transgender kid. Camp Wild Heart is your guide for raising a transgender or non-binary child and nurturing an affirming family. We help you ease your fear and navigate your confusion. Mackenzie Dunham, clinical social worker and co-founder of Wild Heart Society, talks with parents, experts, and transgender adults about the ins and outs of coping with internalized transphobia, fostering shame resilience, exploring medical transition for youth, understanding identity development, knowing what language to use when, and more. Camp Wild Heart is full of people just like you who are lost and searching, brave and afraid, and trying best to do right by their children. You’ll cry–but never alone… and you’ll also laugh, really hard. Welcome.

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